06 May Kid-free weddings
Kid-free weddings
The pros & cons of having a child-free wedding
“Come on, be honest, have you ever seen a parent with a child at a wedding having a good time?” was a question posed to me whilst performing at a wedding recently.
I was stumped! I searched my memory backlog of hundreds of wedding ceremonies and receptions I had attended to try and remember a genuine moment where parents were having fun whilst in the possession of their young children.
I couldn’t recall a single moment!
Let’s take a look at some of the (many) advantages and the (not so many) disadvantages of having children at your wedding!
Kid-free Weddings
The Pro’s
Less stress for parents – who wants to worry about their child ruining the wedding day? Making sure the 5-year-old stays clear of the 3-tier wedding cake, the champagne tower or the bride’s wedding dress is a task in itself!
More freedom and flexibility for guests – no having to worry about small children running around and getting in the way.
More enjoyable wedding celebration for all – without the added stress of little ones, everyone can relax and have a good time.
Distraction-free Ceremony – when you have a kid-free wedding, you don’t have to worry about little ones interrupting the ceremony (or the speeches)! That’s right, no more crying babies, fidgety toddlers, or unruly children running around. Instead, you can relax and enjoy the wedding without having to worry about keeping little ones entertained.
And if you’re wondering how to ensure your guests of all ages have a fantastic time, why not check out my blog on wedding entertainment ideas? From live music to creative activities, it’s full of tips to make your big day unforgettable for everyone!
Invite extra guests – with no children knocking around, it affords you the chance to invite more guests to your wedding!
More money to spend on other things – with one less expense (i.e. childcare), you can use that money to splurge on other aspects of the wedding or put it towards your honeymoon fund!
Safety issues – some wedding venues often have expensive and valuable furniture and decorations that may need paying for should young Charlie stick his boot in! A child-free wedding ensures no such dramas come to fruition!
Cheaper! Of course, fewer heads mean you can reduce your costs when it comes to booking the venue and caterers.
And now the cons!
Parents may feel left out – some parents may feel as though they are missing out on a key moment of their child’s life by not having them at the wedding.
Kids can provide a sense of entertainment and chaos for guests – little ones can often be quite the distraction for guests, providing amusement and mayhem!
Offended guests – There’s nothing quite like a wedding to bring out the judgmental side of even the most well-meaning relatives and friends. So, if you’re thinking of having a kid-free wedding, be prepared for some pushback. After all, there’s always the chance that someone will feel offended by your decision. Of course, you could always try to explain your reasons for wanting a kid-free celebration. But, at the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you should do whatever makes you happy. Just be prepared for some hurt feelings (and maybe a few scathing Facebook posts) from those who didn’t make the cut.
No shows! A real possibility if their babysitter bails at the last minute – or they can’t find a trusted babysitter.
They’re a charming addition Whether the flower girl is dropping rose petals down the aisle with glee or a tiny ring bearer carrying the precious wedding band, there’s something about kids that is sure to win over the hearts of all those in attendance. And that’s not even counting little girls dressed up in their finest formal gowns and boys decked out in tidy suits, both looking almost regal as they wait to make their big entrance. Indeed, nothing is more heartwarming than seeing little ones dressed up for such a special day. Photographers enjoy snapping these moments such as kids running across the lawn or on the dance floor.
How to soften the blow?
Some ways you can soften the blow to your guests when asking that their children do not attend are by:
Offering a babysitting service – this will ensure that parents can still enjoy the wedding without having to worry about their children. Arranging childcare can be expensive though!
Let the venue take the hit! You heard me! Just blame it on the venue 🙂 Something along the lines of:
“We are unable to invite children to the wedding since our venue does not allow under-18s.”
Venue restrictions are a great way to enforce an adult-only affair such as venue capacity or insurance issues so double-check with your venue to see if they have any advice or conditions on child-free weddings.
Meet them halfway!
If you’re struggling to have a complete ban on children attending your wedding, consider allowing them at the ceremony but not the reception.
Consider this line for your wedding invitation:
“Children are welcome to attend the ceremony however, the reception will be an adult-only event.”
It’s natural to feel guilty when delivering such invitations but weddings are (hopefully!) and once in a lifetime celebration so you should certainly stick to your guns and have an adult-only reception.
Many parents will completely understand and accept your wishes and will do their best to accommodate a child-free event.
Blame it on budget restrictions
These are expensive days we live in – gas and electric prices continue to soar, filling up your car literally doubles the value of your car and don’t get me started on the price of a cup of coffee! With this in mind, you can pull on the heartstrings of your guests by letting them know that children are not on the guest list due to budget constraints!
“As much as we would like for the children to attend, our budget only accommodates adult guests”
Weddings cost tens of thousands of dollars, so this excuse is actually quite legitimate and your guests will completely understand.
Honesty is the best policy
Some couples simply don’t want children at their wedding and that’s okay too. If you fall into this category, then it’s best to just be honest with your guests from the get-go.
“We would prefer if children were not in attendance”
Keep it short and sweet
If all else fails, keep your explanation short, sweet, and to the point. For example: “We hope you understand that we have decided not to invite children to our wedding reception.”
And remember, keeping the vibe lively and relaxed for the adults is so important. To help your reception hit the perfect note, check out wedding reception icebreakers for fun and creative ideas to get your guests mingling and enjoying the evening to the fullest!
Other options
If you decide to have children at the wedding, consider setting up a designated area for them. This will allow parents to keep an eye on their kids while still enjoying the celebration. The space can be used for crying babies, energetic toddlers, or kids needing to burn off energy! Providing kid-friendly activities like colouring books, puzzles, or board games can also help keep them entertained. Check out these fun wedding games for guests for more ideas to keep everyone engaged.
Overall, there are pros and cons to having a child-free wedding. Whether you choose to allow children or not, it’s important to take your guests’ feelings into account when making this decision.
At a wedding I attended in Italy, the couple hired a children’s entertainment company for the day, ensuring the kids were entertained while family members enjoyed an adult-only celebration.
Babies!
Parents with newborns should be given the option to bring their baby to the wedding. If you go this route, provide a comfortable place for the baby to sleep and ensure the parents have plenty of food and drink. Ideally, they may feel comfortable leaving their baby with close family for the day, giving them a well-deserved break to enjoy the festivities.
Older Kids
Teens old enough to stay home might feel left out if their parents attend the wedding without them. Using a clear “over 18’s only” guideline can simplify this decision and ensure they stay home if you prefer a child-free event.
Conclusion
Couples choose child-free weddings for various reasons—budget, logistics, or wanting an adult-focused event. However, the biggest challenge is often telling guests their children aren’t invited. While it might feel awkward, most guests will understand your decision and appreciate that your wedding day is special for you. Ultimately, setting boundaries can help you enjoy your day without distractions from toddlers or bored preteens. Celebrate with your close friends and loved ones, and focus on creating a memorable event. If you’re unsure about including kids, weigh the pros and cons carefully and choose what’s best for you as a couple. A wedding without children often feels more relaxed, allowing everyone to focus on the celebration. For more ways to make your wedding day even more engaging for guests, explore these wedding games.
About Close-Up Chris
Chris has been a professional magician for over 25 years, providing wedding entertainment that leaves guests enthralled and with unforgettable memories. His quick wit, humour and sneaky tricks have entertained audiences worldwide, making him one of the most in-demand magicians around.
To check availability and see how much a magician costs, get in touch.
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